Tim Lipson's Eulogy

Eulogy for Sid

Each one of us in this sanctuary who knew Sidney Nathan shares something special in common. We all adored him.

And we adored Sid because by any measure, he was a true mensch.

This one little Yiddish noun says everything one needs to know about Sid.

Various dictionaries, not to mention Wikipedia, define the word “mensch” to mean “a good, kind, decent and honourable person;”

“ a person of integrity and honour”,

“a particularly good person”,

a “stand-up guy”,

“the salt of the earth”,

“someone who would give the shirt off his back”,

“a person with the qualities one would hope for in a dear friend or trusted colleague.”

In his book The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten defined a mensch as someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. He wrote that the key to being a real mensch is nothing less than possessing character, rectitude, dignity and a sense of what is right and responsible.

This little Yiddish word and all of those definitions describe Sid to a “T”.

You all know about Sid’s distinguished medical career. He was the quintessential family doctor. Imagine how many hundreds, if not thousands of people, he treated in his 60 years of practice.

I cannot do better than quote from a tribute to Sid written by a former patient published on the Benjamin’s website:

“I was a patient of Dr. Nathan’s when he was a partner with Dr. Shubert on Jane Street and before when he had an office in that little house on Wilson Avenue. That was 50 years ago! He was a fabulous doctor with a great demeanour and very professional in his approach to medicine. Sid played a key role in my growth as a young man and was a great friend of my family.”

I believe that Sid’s success as a physician can be attributed to not only his professional skills but, just as importantly, to the patience and respect that he had for each and every one of his patients.

In his private life, Sid had various interests which he keenly pursued —He was a very good bridge player. Sid was also a master at cryptic cross-word puzzles. I recently learned that cryptic cross-word puzzles are more challenging that regular ones.

He had a fascination with gadgets. Sid was a devoted subscriber to Consumer Reports and always kept up to date with the latest in electronics, household appliances and cars.

Before Sid married my mother, my family was not particularly observant. After Sid arrived on the scene, wonderful Shabbat meals became an important part of family life. We all enjoyed Friday night dinners with my mom and Sid. Sid always sang the hamotzi with great gusto.

From the beginning Sid naturally assumed the role of family patriarch, especially at the Passover seders which he would he would lead. He would assign each member of the family a portion of the Hagadah to read. We never knew what are our assignments were going to be so it was important to pay attention.

The highlight of the Seder was always Sid’s rendition of the ten plagues—Sid would bring out this bag of props to demonstrate the ten plagues that God visited upon the Egyptians—he had these rubber figurines from Toys r Us as well as various sound devices to symbolize the various plagues such as wild beasts, locusts frogs, hail and boils. The tenth plague is the death of the first born. Sid demonstrated this plague by waving this cheap plastic knife around in the air. But everyone’s favourite was Sid’s rendition of the plague of darkness. Sid had this big rubber eyeball with veins it and he would move a black piece of cardboard over and over this eyeball.

Just before Pesach last year, Sid had been discharged from the St. John’s rehabilitation facility. He had every reason to forgo his usual Seder leadership role. He was having a lot of trouble getting around and was in considerable discomfort. But of course Sid would never consider missing such an occasion. And he was never a complainer. So Sid came to our home and led the Seder in his usual fine style.

When Sid married my mother in May 1987 he became an instant grandfather to David, Claire and John. Four more wonderful grandchildren would follow-Jamie, Adrienne, Rachel and Nicholas. And Sid was a natural as grandfather. He was known to my kids as Dr. Sid and to the other grandchildren as “Zeddy”. Sid had a special nurturing relationship with each one of them. One of my fondest memories is of how he and the grandchildren had such a great time together on our family trip to Israel in 2008.

I would like to say a few words about my relationship with Sid.

He was my step-father but we were also close friends. From the beginning, I enjoyed spending time with Sid. He always had time to chat and I knew that he was as genuinely interested in my welfare as I was in his. Now, Sid was not the kind of person who offered unsolicited advice. That was a measure of his quiet dignity and modesty. But whenever I did ask for his opinion, I could always count on receiving his considered and wise counsel. Sid possessed an abundance of sound judgment and common sense.

In my career as a defence lawyer, I was involved in many cases with complicated medical evidence and issues. Often I would consult Sid to explain the meaning of various medical terms found in reports and hospital charts. He made the unravelled the mysteries of anatomy and pathology in such an understandable way. Typically I would bring a file over to the house. I would lay out the photographs of the crime scene and exhibits on the dining room table. I would show him the witness statements. I had so many questions that he patiently answered. Many of those questions were really dumb but he never said so. Some of my better cross-examinations of medical experts were due to Sid’s invaluable assistance. He was my secret weapon. We had a lot of fun collaborating on those cases. And best of all, he never asked me that proverbial question which people always ask defence counsel—how can you defend a person you know is guilty.

Finally, I want to say a few words about Sid and my mother. Simply put, they had a wonderful marriage. Before they started spending time together each had experienced a dark period in their lives. But that all changed when they became a couple. Sid and my mother were so good together. They rejuvenated and renewed each other. They were inseparable companions for over 23 years. They enjoyed so many common interests particularly music, opera art and travel. (golf) Sid was devoted to my mother and she was devoted to him.

Their relationship was enriched by the support and love of a wide circle of wonderful friends- so many of them are here today. My brothers and I have always been extremely grateful that mom and Sid found each other and enjoyed such a loving partnership.

Many of you here today attended Sid’s 90^th birthday party last May. My mother did such a superb job organizing that celebration. All of her efforts were well worth it just for her and Sid to feel all that love, affection and respect from those of you who were there. And of course Sid was absolutely delighted to be the guest of honour. He didn’t usually like to the centre of attention but I think that on this occasion, he made an exception.

Our hearts are broken by Sid’s passing and we will miss him terribly. At the same time we should not forget that he led such a full and rewarding life.

Sid contributed so much good to so many lives.

Rabbi Dov Marmur married my mother and Sid in this temple in 1987. I would like to conclude with the final sentence of Rabbi Marmur’s eloquent message of condolence that he sent to our family yesterday:

“As Sidney Nathan’s life was a blessing to many, may now his memory be a blessing to all who mourn him.”